etc.
на злобу дня

I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

***
A real friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

***
Today is 'Take our Daughters to Work Day.' This is when girls ages Nine to Fifteen go to work. Or, as it's called at the Nike factory - Thursday.
-- Bill Maher